‘Burbs of Philadelphia
A New Volume Is Starting
Chapter 4: Where Are We Running?
I could say that it’s been difficult adjusting being back in the United States or I could say it’s been a breeze. For me, right now, in this moment, neither matters.
I honestly don’t know what I expected being back here. I don’t think I had any expectations. All I knew was that my future was open and I saw that as a blessing.
Life can move in fifty different directions if we let it- and we often do. Getting caught up in the external noise and then internalizing it, is often the most detrimental for our growth. I forgot that for the first few days I was here.
I keep thinking about the pellets I had wrote about in Chapter 1. I talked about how these pellets, this external noise can either absorb through our barrier or they can bounce back to where they came from. Right now, the pellets are absorbing through my barrier and right now, I feel as though this is an opportunity to grow. Although sometimes I feel as though my barrier is going to shatter like glass, I also feel like they’re only making my barrier stronger.
But that’s the tricky part. You never know.
The question that has constantly been circling my mind in the past month and even more now that I am here in the United States is, What are we running to? What are we running from?
While I was traveling and in India, I was moving at my own pace. It was a beautiful feeling. For the first time in my life, I was moving where my heart led me. I was moving and I was living based on me, the values I was raised with and integrating them into a happy life. As simple as that.
The question then arose, ‘Isn’t this what life is about?’ Moving to our own rhythm, living in that bliss each moment of each day, and spreading that bliss outwards? I make it sound so simple, but I know it’s not. We have responsibilities, others looking to us for guidance or support, dreams we want to reach, and so on.
I’m at a stage now, where the decision I make isn’t end all be all. However, one choice does require commitment for the next few years, while the other allows me to do something I love every day and have flexibility to travel. However, this second choice comes with a lot of uncertainty too in many ways.
Putting all of things aside, I ask myself quite simply, “What do you want? What does your heart want right now?”
Well, in that case, it’s really simple. I already know my answer. The truth changes as we change, so there is no right or wrong answer. As my friend Miki says, there is only right and left :)
For others, there may be a right and wrong, but from the way I see it, all are opportunities to grow.
There are a few things I am clear about and it is that this moment is important. Happiness in this moment, respect in this moment, patience in this moment, love in this moment.
The other is that fear is what stops us from completely being in these moments. Fear of not having security, fear of disapproval, fear of judgement, and the list goes on and on. But is fear how we want to live? Running from fear?
There are so many things I learned from this past year. Many which are difficult to articulate in person much less in these blog posts. However, if I did have to tell you one thing that has changed my life, it’s that we are all afraid of something we love, something we are passionate about. Recognizing that fear is the first step and the following step is to recognize that that fear is not real. Our minds are a tricky place and we create emotions that send us into a whirlwind of dizzying thoughts. That, that, can be the downfall of humans.
So I leave you with this: What if we lived in a world where every single person followed their heart? Made decisions based on the kindness and goodness we all have as humans?