Chapter 9: Sense of 'Me'

En Route to the Philadelphia 'burbs

A New Volume is Starting

Chapter 9: Sense of 'Me'

I ask myself,

As I stand on the cusp of all the good I know,

How did you get here?

How did this vast landscape paint its way to your heart?

How did the water color reach your fingertips?

How did the pastels reach your toes?

How did the beautiful mountain range reach your heart?

Where do you find all that you will come to know?

I live with webs of color inside my organs,

Splashes of light coursing through my veins,

I ask myself why humanity does not see what they are:

Colors of colors

Love caught with branches of blossomed flowers,

Deep, deep passion with an overcast of so much forgiveness,

A wanting to be someone of purpose,

Of meaning.

It’s true we are all the same

We all live, breathe, and love

The speed is immeasureable

As we walk our way through cement structures

And steel jungles

I ask you, my dear, what is it that your heart yearns for?

What is it that you ache to see?

What foggy feelings do you feel?

Do they feel right, but so vague?

That’s okay because that’s a start,

I don’t think it can lead you astray,

Now take all the fear you have, my dear,

Feel it from the tips of your toes to the top of your head

Feel it and let it go,

Let it scare you and think of every possibly circumstance,

I know you’ve thoughtit before,

So do it again,

Now take all of your courage,

Take all your moments of happiness, but also the yearning and ache you feel,

Take it and bring it into a tight ball insight of your being,

Push it deep within you and let it out,

Let it stumble through you,

Let it come and go,

Let the uncertainty pass,

It sounds cliché when people say 'believe' and 'love yourself'

At this point no one really knows what it means anymore,

We’re going against the forces of our hearts

And the true calling of our inner voice,

Be sensible, but don’t think too much,

Don’t keep your insecurities,

They will limit you,

Feel safe because you were always alone,

You always have been and you always will be,

You came into this world alone,

You will leave alone,

The world can only advise or criticize,

No one can tell you but yourself,

I ask you to search for what you know you can’t find,

Because you won’t know it at the time, but it will never be found,

The journey along the way will show you a beauty,

It will fill you up until you feel a burst of energy,

A sense of life you have never felt before.